What is news you wanted to tell us. Oh it's actually nothing important or all you know. Forget it it's really not a big deal. It's not a big deal. OK I'll tell you. But I just don't want to get into a whole long conversation.

I just want to tell you the news and move on to another topic. Shoshanna and I are breaking up. See this is exactly what I mean. Can we just forget I said anything. What did you do. Look. It's mutual. We're both OK with it. You've been dating for over a year. Given my recipe for my chicken soup mixer forget about your chicken soup can you see how some is having a crisis. Can.

What did you do. I didn't do anything. If you want to know. We're just not.

Feeling it anymore. But she's such a nice guy. I told him he's going to end up like a hottie some 50 and single. So I knew I shouldn't have told you the car.

Look it's fine. I'm fine. Sharma's fine. Your matzo ball soup is fine.

You can do whatever the point is. There are other fish in the sea. Fish love. Excuse me. I agree. Fish love. What's fish like.

You don't know the story. It's a famous thought Zarqawi from was walking down the street he saw a man eating a fish and enjoying the fish very much. So the rabbi says Wow you sure have enjoying that fish. And the man says yes I love fish. So the love I says really you love fish. You hook a fish out of the water. You got it inside out. You fry it and now you eat it. You don't love fish. You love yourself. So what are you saying now I can't eat fish anymore. Of course Higgens there was nothing wrong with enjoying a fish but don't kid yourself that you love fish. First of all it's just a figure of speech. And how does this have anything to do with Shoshanna.

You love your song. As long as you will probably say that feeling feeling it as long as she was providing you what you needed. You love her.

But that's not love. It's fish love. Look it's complicated.

I'm looking for something else. My life is going in a different direction. It's nobody's fault. I just always had a certain picture in my mind of what I want out of my life and what I want in a relationship. And honestly what I think I really need is to find myself. You know I need to spend a little time focusing on me right.

Did you count 12 times 12 times what.

In one sentence you have felt to yourself 12 times. I think so so it's no surprise.

Everything these days is I I like I don't like ises eyes iPhone iPod iPod.

That's a good one.

OK. Maybe you've got a point. But honestly I have to love myself before I can really love someone else. Here he goes again. IPhone iPod iPod. You know.

So what for love in Hebrew is a hover. At the center of that world is Huff which means. To give. There's no mention of me. My. True love. Is to give. Are you saying I didn't give Shoshanna enough. I took her on a trip to Florida. I spent a fortune on our six month anniversary. I gave a lot I gave because I loved her. But you see now you have it completely backwards. You don't give because you love you love because you give. I have no idea what you just said. The point is before I can love someone I need to understand who I am I need to find my soul.

But you're looking in all the wrong places. What do you mean. The more you focus on yourself so fills a hole where you get from discovering who you really are. That's a paradox but it's me. I'm the one who wants to experience the love. You think it's you. But it's actually your ego. You'll insistence on not letting go of your self has nothing to do is love it. You'll need to hang on to control. It's actually insecurity. What do you think is loving yourself. Is actually feel. So where do I find love once you begin focusing on everything. As you say this is what you will actually begin to find do say in Zurb is where you will find the real love.

OK wait a second. Slow down. Remember there are two people in this relationship. If I'm giving to her and I'm not getting in return. What kind of a relationship is that.

If you are giving to the other person expecting something in the town that's not love. It's a business thing. I give you this you give me some. But where does that leave me.

What am I getting out of giving my iPhone iPod iPod.

I'm going to make a bumper sticker.

But I am in the relationship. Not anymore. That's besides the point. If you make it about you. It's fish love. You have to take yourself out of it. It's not about you. If you truly give not in order to receive not an exchange of expectations or because you're willing to be punished if you simply give in order to give. Because you truly want to give something inside of you.

Wants to give. Then. Then giving it self is usual. That's a difference between Fish love and real love.

And the real. And what that results love is not a means to an end. It's the end. So. It's very complicated. It's actually very simple. It is complicated because taking your ego out of it is new which makes it hard to see but it's the most basic thing.

So you told me this story about Fish love if it's so simple. Give me an example of real life.

Let me tell you another story. There once was a very old man who was planting a fruit tree. So a boy comes to him and asks How long will it take to grow the fruit and the old man says seventy years.

So the boy says what? By the time the tree grows fruits you will be dead. And the old man answers.

When I came into this world there were fruit trees and ate the fruit. And when I'm dead there will be fruit trees and people will eat the fruit. So this is what it means to love.